i go through periods of
“i’m so fucking cool and awesome and hot. I would date me”
“i’m so fucking ugly why do people talk to me i’m such a loser”
“LIFE IS AWESOME LOOK A BIRD. SO PRETTY. EARTH IS BEAUTIFULLLL!!”
“oh my god everyone is so fucked up i hate people and want to die.”
welcome to life
the first person to ever fall asleep was probably like “aw fuck i’m dying” but then woke up hours later and was like “aw yeah that’s the shit i do like”
Some of the best pickup lines I’ve used so far:
- If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
- If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.
- Are you a robot? Cause I’d like to turn you on.
- I need a map. I keep getting lost in your eyes.
- Do I know you? Cause you look like the man I want to marry.
- I lost my horse. Can I ride you instead?
AND THEN I GOT THIS ONE IN RETURN
- Here, could you hold this for me while I go for a walk? *holds out hand*
FUCK THAT’S CUTE